As you may have heard, Cosmopolitan magazine’s website posted a slideshow of 28 Mind-Blowing Lesbian Sex Positions. Each position has its own cartoon illustration (with alternating hot pink and cerulean backgrounds), how-to description and difficulty rating.

Cosmopolitan has been running sex position listicles of this sort for decades, but this is apparently the first exclusively lesbian-oriented such list.

I’m not fully qualified (disclosure: Daze is a straight guy) to evaluate this new list. Then again, I enjoy having sex with women and learning how to blow my girlfriend’s mind, so sex tips by and/or for lesbians are relevant to my interests. I’ve always enjoyed watching lesbians have sex, partly for educational reasons. Many of Cosmo‘s 28 positions involve imaginative ways to bury your face in a female partner’s crotch, which I can totally relate to. So with the obvious proviso that Cosmo is not an ideal reference source on what women (gay or straight) enjoy in bed, I found this slideshow worth a browse.

Cosmo‘s lesbian sex position feature has sparked a miniature culture war. Representing the two poles:

Samantha Allen in The Daily Beast: I Tried Cosmo’s Lesbian Sex Tips and They Were Terrible. “The slideshow is all surface, all for show, bearing little resemblance to the sex that actual lesbians have. Much like Cosmo itself, the slideshow is pretty to look at but lacking in substance and utility.”

June Thomas in Slate: Cosmo’s “28 Mind-Blowing Lesbian Sex Positions” is Good for the Gays. “I don’t know if, after studying this slide show, women around the world will attempt the Rockin’ Rockette, the Hot Hair Salon, or even the Lazy Girl’s 69, but I’m certain that a few women will feel more confident in their first same-sex encounters. And that really does blow my mind.”

Yay or nay? Hot or not? Deserving of praise or deserving of mockery? Gotta have it or make it stop? Daze Reader takes no position in this debate, we’ll just sit off to the side and watch and take notes.

There’s probably another quarter debating this slideshow: bigots complaining that Cosmo is promoting the homosexual agenda (shoving it in our faces!) to corruptible young people. I spent a few minutes on Google trying to find an example to link and mock in this post, but I couldn’t find anything. I’m sure it’s out there somewhere, but people who think this way are increasingly being pushed to the fringe, which is nice.

{ 0 comments }

MEMRI (Middle East Media Research Institute) monitors TV broadcasts in various countries and posts subtitled clips on their website, with special emphasis on religious nuttiness and hatemongering. I check their video list every now and then, though not as often as I used to.

Recently they posted a nutty segment featuring muslim televangelist (telimam?) Mazhar Shahin on Al-Tahrir TV in Egypt. MEMRI titled the clip Egyptian Propaganda: Fatwa Permits “Anal Jihad” for Muslim Brotherhood Members.

anal-jihad-recently

As far as I can figure, Mazhar Shahin supports the current Egyptian regime and opposes the recently overthrown Muslim Brotherhood. Basically this “Anal Jihad” rant is one homophobic asshole slandering other homophobic assholes by accusing them of having lots of gay sex, or at least tolerating gay sex in their ranks. No doubt the MB responded, shut up, we’re not gay, you’re totally gay.

anal-jihad-now

Whatever the context, we can all agree that “Anal Jihad” is a magnificent phrase. Just try saying “Anal Jihad” without chuckling. Cynics might suspect that Daze has a childish sense of humor and posted this item just for the fun of writing “Anal Jihad” over and over, and the cynics would be right.

{ 0 comments }

I’m a devotee of sex in public and sex in public news stories, and I’ve got a bunch bookmarked from the various “quirky” news wires I check, so let’s clear them out.

Dateline — Ukraine. Couple having sex on railroad tracks hit by train.

A daredevil pair of drunken Ukrainian lovers were hit by a train as they had sex on the tracks.

The woman, in her 30s, was killed instantly as the locomotive slammed into them in the city of Zaporozhye on Saturday morning.

Her 41-year-old partner survived the impact, but reportedly lost both his legs.

Ukrainian Interior Ministry officials said they “failed to overcome their natural passion when walking home.”

There’s a moral to this story: DON’T HAVE SEX ON RAILROAD TRACKS. Sorry if that sounds mean, but having sex on railroad tracks is just too stupid for me to generate sympathy. Why not just fail to overcome your natural passion NEAR the railroad tracks, then later tell everyone you did it on the tracks? Win win.

Dateline — six miles over the north Atlantic. Drunken British woman busted for loud sex on Las Vegas flight.

The frisky flier, in her 20s, was reportedly busted romping in the restroom on the Virgin flight from London’s Gatwick Airport last week.

Attendants are said to have busted down the door after receiving complaints about the loud sex noises the duo were making.

She then allegedly had to be cuffed [to her seat] after screaming abuse at the crew.

One passenger said the woman, who has not been named, was traveling with her mom and dad when she started getting steamy with the man in the next seat.

“Traveling with her mom and dad” is what really makes this story special. The remainder of that flight must have been awkward. And where did “the man in the next seat” sit for the rest of the flight? (I first heard this story on a Chelsea Lately roundtable, but the video doesn’t seem to be online.)

Dateline — Tennessee. Police: Man attempted sex with ATM, picnic table at Murfreesboro bar.

“Mr. Hutton entered the bar and walked to the ATM. Once at the ATM, Mr. Hutton pulled down his pants and underwear exposing his genitals, Mr. Hutton then attempted to have sexual intercourse with the ATM,” [Officer] Rickard said.

The suspect then walked around the bar wearing no pants while he thrust his hips in the air, witnesses told the officer. Bar staff then escorted Hutton outside, Rickard said.

“Once outside Mr. Hutton again exposed himself and (attempted to) engaged in sexual intercourse with the wooden picnic table,” Rickard said.

The officer said Hutton appeared intoxicated and smelled of alcohol.

Sexual intercourse with the ATM I can sort of picture. There’s a slot where the money comes out, which is often around belt high. Wrong shape, but close enough for someone that fucked up. But how exactly does one simulate sex with a picnic table?

Dateline — Spain. Couple caught having sex next to cash machine.

The randy pair stripped naked – aside from their socks – in a bank foyer in Oviedo, northern Spain, before getting down and dirty on the floor beside the ATM.

Various items of clothing, including a belt, pair of jeans and trainers, could be seen around them.

While they cavorted, baffled passers-by took pictures which eventually making their way online.

The lovers appeared unfazed by their audience, who were laughing, applauding and taking dozens of pictures.

Click through for one of those photos. Police eventually showed up to break up the party. I have a hunch alcohol was involved this time too.

Dateline — Spain again. Woman falls into well during outdoor sex session.

The couple met on Friday night in Ciudad Real, a city in Castilla-La Mancha region of central Spain at a park where young people gather for outdoor drinking parties known as “el botellon”.

They found a quiet corner in the park to have sex but did not realise that their movements had dislodged a waterwheel well shaft cover and the woman, named locally as Edelia Aponte, 21, tumbled through the gap.

In a rather ungallant move, the as yet unnamed man fled, leaving her trapped in the ten metre hole where she remained shivering in water for half an hour before firefighters pulled her, half naked, from the well shaft.

The decline of chivalry among modern men galls me. Being a little freaky does not absolve you of common decency. When a young lady is gracious and freaky enough to engage in a late-night semi-public romp, if she accidentally falls down a well, it’s NOT ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR for a gentleman to flee the scene. Call 911, buckle up your pants and keep your terrified date company until emergency personnel arrive.

Seriously, this asshole deserves a beatdown.

Dateline — Wales. Headteacher and colleague suspended after school ‘sex tape’ is posted online.

A headteacher and a colleague have been suspended after video footage of alleged sex noises from inside a school office were posted online.

The footage was allegedly filmed inside Ysgol Bryn Tawe school in Swansea.

It shows a closed office door with what is claimed to be sex noises coming from inside the office.

The school has now been besieged by concerns from parents and the clip has been watched and shared hundreds of times on sites such as Facebook and YouTube.

Although officials have refused to comment on the video’s contents, chair of governors Heini Gruffudd issued a statement saying [both sex noisemakers] had been suspended.

The suspended duo were a 50-year-old male headteacher and a 36-year-old female chemistry teacher.

As far as I’m concerned, anyone willing to work full-time teaching high school kids deserves profound gratitude and an enormous amount of leeway. If two consenting adults working ten-hour days want to blow off some steam in a private office behind closed doors, that’s their business. At least they were fucking each other, not students. If anything, the smug punks who thought it fun to stand outside the door, tape-record the sex noises and post the tape online are the ones who deserve punishment. Give them all a good caning, confiscate and smash their mobiles, then make them write “Snitches Get Stitches” on a blackboard one thousand times. And their “concerned parents” need to grow the fuck up and beg those teachers’ forgiveness.

{ 0 comments }

On the advice of my spiritual advisor, I’ve been reading some old-timey self-help books. Not new age stuff about feelings, self-esteem, your inner child and being OK, but pre-WW2 stuff about prosperity, dynamism and gumption.

One of the acknowledged classics of this genre is Think and Grow Rich (1937) by Napoleon Hill. And I’ll be damned, Napoleon Hill turns out to be a horny old goat after Daze’s own heart.

In his earlier, similar work The Law of Success (1928), Hill wrote:

Fortunate is the person who understands this principle sufficiently well to keep his or her brain vitalized or “recharged” by periodically contacting it with a more vital mind. Sexual contact is one of the most effective of the stimuli through which a mind may be recharged, providing the contact is intelligently made, between man and woman who have genuine affection for each other. Any other sort of sexual relationship is a devitalizer of the mind. [...]

Before passing away from the brief reference made to sexual contact as a means of revitalizing a depleted mind it seems appropriate to call attention to the fact that all of the great leaders, in whatever walks of life they have arisen, have been and are people of highly sexed natures. (The word “sex” is not an indecent word. You’ll find it in all the dictionaries.)

[...] All the so-called geniuses probably gained their reputations because, by mere chance or otherwise, they formed alliances with other minds which enabled them to “step up” their own mind vibrations to where they were enabled to contact the vast Temple of Knowledge recorded and filed in the ether of the universe. All of the great geniuses, as far as this author has been enabled to gather the facts, were highly sexed people. The fact that sexual contact is the greatest known mind stimulant lends color to the theory herein described.

Hill elaborates this theme in Think and Grow Rich, which has a full chapter entitled “The Mystery of Sex Transmutation: The Tenth Step Toward Riches”. Some excerpts:

The pages of history are filled with the records of great leaders whose achievements maybe traced directly to the influence of women who aroused the creative faculties of their minds, through the stimulation of sex desire. Napoleon Bonaparte was one of these.

When inspired by his first wife, Josephine, he was irresistible and invincible. When his “better judgment” or reasoning faculty prompted him to put Josephine aside, he began to decline. His defeat and St. Helena were not far distant.

If good taste would permit, we might easily mention scores of men, well known to the American people, who climbed to great heights of achievement under the stimulating influence of their wives, only to drop back to destruction AFTER money and power went to their heads, and they put aside the old wife for a new one.

Napoleon was not the only man to discover that sex influence, from the right source, is more powerful than any substitute of expediency, which maybe created by mere reason.

The human mind responds to stimulation! Among the greatest, and most powerful of these stimuli is the urge of sex. When harnessed and transmuted, this driving force is capable of lifting men into that higher sphere of thought which enables them to master the sources of worry and petty annoyance which beset their pathway on the lower plane.

Unfortunately, only the genii have made the discovery. Others have accepted the experience of sex urge, without discovering one of its major potentialities — a fact which accounts for the great number of “others” as compared to the limited number of genii.

For the purpose of refreshing the memory, in connection with the facts available from the biographies of certain men, we here present the names of a few men of outstanding achievement, each of whom was known to have been of a highly sexed nature. The genius which was theirs, undoubtedly found its source of power in transmuted sex energy:

GEORGE WASHINGTON
NAPOLEON BONAPARTE
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
ABRAHAM LINCOLN
RALPH WALDO EMERSON
ROBERT BURNS
THOMAS JEFFERSON
ELBERT HUBBARD
ELBERT H. GARY
OSCAR WILDE
WOODROW WILSON
JOHN H. PATTERSON
ANDREW JACKSON
ENRICO CARUSO

Your own knowledge of biography will enable you to add to this list. Find, if you can, a single man, in all history of civilization, who achieved outstanding success in any calling, who was not driven by a well developed sex nature.

[...] Surely no one will misunderstand these statements to mean that ALL who are highly sexed are genii! Man attains to the status of a genius ONLY when, and IF, he stimulates his mind so that it draws upon the forces available, through the creative faculty of the imagination. Chief among the stimuli with which this “stepping up” of the vibrations maybe produced is sex energy. The mere possession of this energy is not sufficient to produce a genius. The energy must be transmuted from desire for physical contact, into some other form of desire and action, before it will lift one to the status of a genius.

Far from becoming genii, because of great sex desires, the majority of men lower themselves, through misunderstanding and misuse of this great force, to the status of the lower animals.

* * *

The factor of personality known as “personal magnetism” is nothing more nor less than sex energy. Highly sexed people always have a plentiful supply of magnetism. Through cultivation and understanding, this vital force may be drawn upon and used to great advantage in the relationships between people. This energy may be communicated to others through the following media:

i. The hand-shake. The touch of the hand indicates, instantly, the presence of magnetism, or the lack of it.

2. The tone of voice. Magnetism, or sex energy, is the factor with which the voice may be colored, or made musical and charming.

3. Posture and carriage of the body. Highly sexed people move briskly, and with grace and ease.

4. The vibrations of thought. Highly sexed people mix the emotion of sex with their thoughts, or may do so at will, and in that way, may influence those around them.

5. Body adornment. People who are highly sexed are usually very careful about their personal appearance. They usually select clothing of a style becoming to their personality, physique, complexion, etc.

* * *

The entire subject of sex is one with which the majority of people appear to be unpardonably ignorant. The urge of sex has been grossly misunderstood, slandered, and burlesqued by the ignorant and the evil minded, for so long that the very word sex is seldom used in polite society. Men and women who are known to be blessed — yes, BLESSED — with highly sexed natures, are usually looked upon as being people who will bear watching. Instead of being called blessed, they are usually called cursed.

Millions of people, even in this age of enlightenment, have inferiority complexes which they developed because of this false belief that a highly sexed nature is a curse. These statements, of the virtue of sex energy, should not be construed as justification for the libertine. The emotion of sex is a virtue ONLY when used intelligently, and with discrimination. It may be misused, and often is, to such an extent that it debases, instead of enriches, both body and mind.

Some thoughts …

The claim that all great leaders and accomplished genii (nowadays we usually say “geniuses”, but “genii” is cooler) throughout history have been “highly sexed” is impossible to prove or disprove. Any list of world-class genii (how is that pronounced, anyway?) will be highly subjective, and we can only speculate about the sex drives of famous people. While I appreciate Hill’s theory, I have no idea if he’s right.

And his list is quite strange. Shakespeare, Jefferson, OK. But Woodrow Wilson? He always struck me as a clenched, priggish Calvinist. Maybe I haven’t read the right biographies. I had to look up Hubbard, Gray and Patterson.

One could easily compile a list of great leaders and genii who do not seem “highly sexed” in the slightest. Of course, such a list would be just as speculative and subjective.

The inclusion of Oscar Wilde on Hill’s list seems very progressive. Praising the powerful “sex energy” of a famously homosexual artist was a bit daring for the 1930s.

Along the same lines, I wonder how many of Hill’s readers over the years have momentarily freaked out and thought, “wait just a goshdarned minute, there’s nothing sexual about a good firm hand-shake between men”.

On the other hand, Hill’s list is exclusively male. He does make inclusive reference to “men and women who are known to be blessed — yes, BLESSED — with highly sexed natures” at one point. However, he takes for granted that the great leaders and accomplished genii are men, whose creative and sexual natures are stimulated by women behind the scenes. So what about the modern age, when female political leaders and entrepreneurs and creators have more opportunities? Would Hill’s link between achieving greatness and a “highly sexed” nature hold true for women too?

Hill says it’s not enough to be bursting with sexual energy, one must learn how to “transmute” that “desire for physical contact into some other form of desire and action”. He’s not the first thinker to propose this idea. Freud saw “sexual sublimation”, the process of translating sexual energy into other creative endeavors, as a positive force and basis for civilization. Hill emphasizes business and entrepreneurship as outlets for sexual energy, but otherwise the ideas are very similar.

So with this notion of “sex transmutation”, is Hill recommending that one suppress this “desire for physical contact”? I don’t think so. When he talks about “recharging” one’s mind through sexual contact with another, Hill is clearly talking about real, physical, raunchy, sweaty, panting sex. When he talks about Napoleon being inspired and stimulated by Josephine, Hill is talking about actual sex. The way I see it, “transmutation” is about finding balance between literal sex and the other creative endeavors in one’s life. It’s about bringing the best spirit of sex — creativity, joy, optimism, mutual benefit, banishing all tentativeness and embarrassment — into the rest of one’s endeavors. Our standard of what constitutes “libertinism” may change over time, but the basic principles hold true.

{ 0 comments }

Every single site on the internet now does Game of Thrones episode recaps, and here at Daze Reader we’re all about jumping on trends.

(Spoilers for Game of Thrones season 4 episode 6, “The Laws of Gods and Men” after the jump.)

[click to continue…]

{ 0 comments }

Animal Sex Roundup

May 5, 2014

Strange happenings around the wild kingdom …

National Geographic shocker: Hostile Female Spiders Eat Males Before Mating.

For many spiders, mating is a risky proposal. Not only are they exposed to predators while in the act, but copulation can end when the female eats the male. [...]

New observations reveal that some females don’t even wait for mating to begin before they start snacking on their mates. Called pre-copulatory sexual cannibalism, this behavior occurs in about 10 to 15 percent of spider species, including the burrowing wolf spider.

[...] New research shows that violent female spiders tend to attack males more often than easygoing females.

That last bit seems tautological. Wouldn’t predisposition to cannibalism be part of the definition of “violent”?

Meanwhile, Wired informs us about deadly animal sex in Australia that sounds lots more fun: This Marsupial Has Marathon Sex Until It Goes Blind and Drops Dead.

A tiny hyperactive marsupial called antechinus sprints around mating almost non-stop for an exhausting three weeks, with single romps lasting as long as 14 straight hours.

Males relentlessly bound from partner to partner, as massive hormone releases in their bodies cause their immune systems to crash and their fur to fall out. They bleed internally. Some males even go blind, yet still stumble around the leaf litter hoping for one last tryst. In a few short weeks, every single male lies dead, leaving the females to raise their offspring.

Blind, bloody, furless and dead doesn’t sound appealing, but most guys can probably relate. Wired calls antechinus sex “one of nature’s most striking manifestations of the true meaning of life”, which is pretty cynical even for Daze.

Dateline Paris — Artist guilty of exhibitionism after dancing with cockerel tied to his penis.

Wearing platform shoes and an outlandish costume including feathers on his fingers and a headdress made of a stuffed pheasant, he danced for 10 minutes with his penis attached to the rooster, before police intervened.

“What I did was art [that] had nothing to do with sexuality,” he told the court, adding that no one – even a group of passing nuns – had complained about the performance.

So what was the cockerel-cock performance art about then? The article doesn’t say. A criminal court found the artist guilty of “sexual exhibitionism” (really? that’s a crime in Paris?) but imposed no penalty.

Dateline Switzerland — Campaigners say Swiss bunny girl advert ‘promotes animal sex’.

An advert for a Swiss shopping centre that features a g-string superimposed onto a rabbit has been criticised for “promoting animal sex” by campaigners.

Daniel Bader from a Swiss animal protection group told the Tages Anzeiger newspaper: “From our point of view, the respect of the rabbit has been badly damaged.”

Why are there so many humorless twits in the ethical treatment of animals movement? Please no one tell this guy about cheezburgers and the poor oppressed cats who can’t haz them.

{ 0 comments }

A Who’s Who of Whores in Game of Thrones

April 30, 2014

Keeping track of the ever-expanding character lineup of Game of Thrones is no easy task, especially the minor characters. All those bannermen, maesters and minor lords, the grunts of the Night’s Watch and King’s Guard and Dothraki horde, blur together sometimes. Have we seen that guy before? Does he have a name? Thank god for […]

Read the full article →

Thinking Film Sex: the HUMP! Festival and the Feminist Porn Awards

April 28, 2014

The 2014 Feminist Porn Awards took place in Toronto the first weekend in April. Host Good for Her has the complete winners list. Several participants have posted long, photo-filled writeups of the weekend: Ms Naughty … Tristan Taormino … Jiz Lee … Chris Lowrance … Pandora Blake. I didn’t attend and have nothing to add […]

Read the full article →

Semen Facials as Beauty Treatment?

April 24, 2014

Sex writer and workshop leader Stella Ralfini has revealed her favorite anti-aging secret: semen face masks. Ralfini wrote on her blog last month: During my time in India, when I was studying a lovemaking method called Tantra, I came across one of the most beautiful women I’d ever seen. She told me she was in […]

Read the full article →

Après le bal by Georges Méliès – the first adult movie?

April 22, 2014

YouTube channel Cinema History has posted the 1897 George Méliès film Après le bal, “FULL & UNCENSORED”, billing it as the “first adult movie”. As you probably expected, it’s quite tame by “adult movie” standards of any later era. (The fact that the full, uncensored film can be uploaded to YouTube should have been a […]

Read the full article →