Semen Facials as Beauty Treatment?

Sex writer and workshop leader Stella Ralfini has revealed her favorite anti-aging secret: semen face masks. Ralfini wrote on her blog last month:

During my time in India, when I was studying a lovemaking method called Tantra, I came across one of the most beautiful women I’d ever seen. She told me she was in her late sixties but looked much younger. Her skin was so silky smooth and line free, I had to know her secret. Her secret was that she used a face mask made from her husband’s sperm. (Apparently this beauty tip had been passed down through generations of her family and always been thought of as nothing out of the ordinary).

[…] Your lover’s semen is the freshest cell therapy available on our planet. We know it’s fresh because its live energy produces life itself. It’s packed with recognised proteins and minerals that are known to reduce the aging process.

She has a three-minute YouTube video (SFW, like it or not) explaining this beauty secret.

Whether by chance or canny self-promotion, Ralfini’s semen facial post generated a wave of quirky news write-ups. The Daily Mirror: Grandmother, 67, reveals beauty secret behind youthful looks is regular SPERM FACIALS … The Inquisitr: Sperm Face Masks: The Secret To Eternal Youth? … Styleite: Possibly Insane Grandmother Swears By Sperm Facials for Eternal Youth.

Sign of my times — I’m more interested in learning Ralfini’s free publicity secrets.

She’s not the only one recommending this beauty secret. Last year one of TMZ’s roving question-thugs asked Heather Locklear how she keeps her face looking so young. Her answer: “You just put semen on your face.”

In 2009, Cosmo reporter Zoe Ruderman visited a day spa to get a “spermine” facial. “The going rate of a sperm facial? $250 And — oh my god — if one more guy says, “I woulda given you a sperm facial for free!” I just might scream.”

Meanwhile, Stella Ralfini responded to inevitable mockery with a follow up post in which she “hits back with facts about semen mask”.

Plenty of guys will be eager to recommend this beauty secret to their girlfriends. One thing to keep in mind: there’s no added anti-aging benefit to applying the semen directly to the face. Ralfini recommends finishing your guy with a handjob, then “scoop a little seminal fluid into your hand and apply it to face and neck”. Locklear likewise makes a hand gesture indicating that she applies the semen facial herself afterwards. If you’re a guy and really want to apply the semen facial directly, you still need to find a way to ask nicely.

Language police: many of these articles use “semen” and “sperm” interchangeably. They’re not the same thing. Semen is the sticky white fluid that emerges from penises; sperm are the microscopic eely swimmers in the semen. Each blast of ejaculated semen contains many millions of sperm, and sperm accounts for maybe 3% of semen by volume. So the correct usage is “semen facial”, not “sperm facial”.