Courtney Stodden, Least Surprising Sex Tape Star Ever, Releases Sex Tape

Maybe you remember Courtney Stodden. She became famous, or infamous, in 2011 when she got married at age 16 to 50-year-old actor Doug Hutchison (who was previously best known, to me at least, as “Tooms” on two great early X-Files episodes). She cultivated a retro bombastic blond bombshell persona and revelled in the tabloid notoriety. The Soup made fun of her frequently. Since then she has appeared on various reality shows, but her famous-for-being-famous star has faded fast.

Then in April 2015 came the unsurprising news that Courtney Stodden, now 20, had a sex tape. TMZ reported that the tape was being “shopped” and that Vivid was interested.

[Vivid prez Steven] Hirsch confirms he’s already seen the video, and reveals it’s a solo effort (think Octomom, but hotter) — sorry, Doug Hutchison fans. He also says the DD photo op queen “looks amazing, this is the most unique footage I’ve ever seen.”

But y’know the game by now — Courtney has to sign off for the video to be legally distributed, and our guess is if Hirsch gets her to do that … it’s just a matter of time before there’s a full release.

Two weeks later, Stodden made public legal threats against Vivid to block the tape’s release. No one really believed her. Fox News reported:

The now-20-year-old’s lawyer shot off a letter to Hirsch earlier this week saying legal action would be taken should the tape be released without her consent.

“I want my tape back and Mr. Hirsch needs to respond to my attorney’s demand letter to return it to me immediately,” Stodden said in a statement to FOX411. “My private video’s not for sale. I don’t need the million dollars.”

But one person who knows how these negotiation work — celebrity sex tape broker Kevin Blatt — isn’t buying Stodden’s story. He says acrimonious back-and-forth between a celebrity and Vivid over a tape – including legal letters — is one way to drum up interest in a tape.

“It’s BS,” Blatt said. “She signed the deal [with Vivid] long ago.”

One week after that, Vivid released Courtney Uncovered: The Courtney Stodden Sex Tape, promoted with softcore stills and a 70-second trailer. She likes ice cream.

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Vivid is hyping it as a “homemade tape” and “the private video she did not want you to see!”

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Like celebrity sex tape broker Kevin Blatt, I’m skeptical. It’s more likely that Stodden and Vivid negotiated a deal (based on past Vivid sex tape contracts leaked to the press, Stodden probably gets 25% of the gross generated by her video); then a Vivid crew shot the video to give it high production values and a plausibly homemade-ish feel; then Stodden and Vivid staged the pre-release drama, with TMZ playing along. What the hell, it’s a harmless enough game.

One question for the future: will there be a sequel? Farrah Abraham and Tila Tequila both made sex tape sequels which, ahem, expanded their onscreen sexual reportoires. By starting with a solo masturbation video, Courtney Stodden leaves herself plenty of room to grow as a pornstar.